The Lost

21 Days ago I decided to start writing about the virus. I was going to write as it traveled across the world to us, knowing that it would. Documenting the daily life and craziness that followed. What I found, though, is that I was too anxious to write. While I narrated the world with dire thoughts and images of emptiness where people were currently grouped together laughing and talking and living their lives. The dread I felt, coupled with the facts of all the books I've read on the subject made me wish I never read anything at all. To be ignorant of what was coming. I truly meant to write of the moment to moment unraveling. But I can't. I couldn't. I'm horrified. I can see it playing out over the coming months and the deaths and the total overwhelm of seeing the ravages that this disease will cause.

I have tried to be calm in the face of all of it. There is nothing I can do to change it. There is nothing a single person can do. Social Isolation is a good tactic that should have happened 6 weeks ago. Now it is too late. People don't even realize. Or at least the majority don't realize how bad it is going to get.

I have watched as it ravaged China, then Italy, Spain, England (still in process). Countries are completely shut. Borders closed. The entire state of California is in a shelter in place order. As well as Illinois, New York. This is smart. But again, too late. The lack of tests and therefore testing has made any chance of containing this virus, of "flattening the curve" to try to stop the overwhelm of hospitals.

I am trying to ration my reading of the news to save myself from serious anxiety. The grocery stores are fairly cleaned out of so much food. The run on toilet paper is a little surprising honestly. I bought toilet paper on my way back to Colorado and haven't seen it since. In several weeks. Dried beans and rice are surprisingly unavailable. I'm not sure a lot of americans even know what to do with dried beans. But there you go. Apparently there is a crisis in the world of Chef Boyardee which seems to be sold out most places. Spam also. Tuna. Canned beans of all kinds. Water. They are starting to create times at grocery stores for the Elderly to shop when it is clean and recently stocked. Thank god. I worry so much about the little old people. They are starting to ration how many items of each type you can buy as well. Which is also good cuz the food hoarding is leaving people with little food.

All in all the terrible stories are bookended by the random acts of kindness and good that are coming out of this. This is all going to be judged by history. Too little, Too late.